Identity breeds results

There is a kind of fatigue that is not about a lack of energy, but about repetition.

You know what you want. You have thought it through many times and you have even tried, yet life continues in the same direction as before. There is nothing fundamentally wrong, but it is not the direction you deeply long for.

Many interpret this as a lack of discipline. As a flaw in character, as not wanting it badly enough, but I rarely believe that is where the problem lies.

In my work, I meet people who are both capable and reflective. They know how to set goals and they can make plans. They are fully capable of changing their lives, yet something strange happens when it is time to actually live differently. They try to change their results by changing their habits, but they have not changed their identity.

The difference may seem subtle, but it is crucial.

Imagine that you have long carried the idea of writing a book. You know what it would be about and you have started writing. At times you write intensely, but then it slows down. Everyday life takes over and everything else seems more important. When we look more closely at this, it is rarely about time. Most people have more room to act than they think. It is more about how you see yourself. Do you see yourself as a writer? Or as someone who dreams of writing? A person who identifies as a writer does not need to motivate themselves every day to sit down at the desk. It is not an extra effort, but a natural extension of who that person is.

When identity is anchored, action becomes less dramatic. You become less dependent on inspiration and acting in the right direction becomes more natural. That is why so many attempts at change stop at good intentions. We try to add new behaviors on top of a self-image that is still the same. We want a new life, but we are still thinking the same old thoughts about ourselves.

Real change does not begin with doing more, it begins with becoming. Slowly beginning to see yourself in a new role and speaking about yourself in a different way. Truly allowing yourself to make small decisions that align with the person you want to be, even before you fully feel like that person. Identity creates action, action creates results and results reinforce identity. It is a quiet process, but deeply powerful and perhaps that is why it is so easy to overlook.

In March’s Monthly Boost, a monthly free email from Naranja Coaching and me, Elin Debora, you will find an exercise to help you become who you want to be. Subscribe to receive it in your inbox, or send an email to elindebora@naranjacoaching.com

Who do you want to be, who do you want to become?
Feel free to reach out and tell me how it goes. I look forward to your email and I reply personally.

Coach Elin Debora Brixson